Trust Me, It Fits: A Story About A Dick 

Few things send traveling entertainers over the edge quicker than the subject of lost luggage. Everyone has their own stories about it and it really is one of the worst things that can happen to you on the road. Your luggage become your proxy for Home and you probably spend more time cuddled up with your carry-on than your significant other. The time you are most likely to lose your luggage is when you are already on the plane. You’ve heard it before…

“I’m sorry sir, but that’s not going to fit. You’ll need to check it.”

Everyone has their own tactic to try and keep the offending bag on board. I get belligerent then nice and then I beg. Some idiots just let them take the bag. One entertainer I flew with from Buenos Aeres to Houston last year took it to a whole new level. 

“It’ll fit” he says. 

“No, Sir. It won’t” she says. 

“Can I just try? I’ll stick it in and if it doesn’t fit I’ll pull it right out” 

“No, Sir. It’s not going to fit” 

“Huh. What plane is this? What kind?” 

“It’s a Boeing 737-700/800” 

He gets out his phone. Opens the Photos. Then he works his was through an album of nearly identical pictures. Each one of his bag all snuggly and cozy in an overhead bin. In every picture next to his bag there is the Flight Saftey Card for that specific airline/aircraft. And right next to the Flight Saftey Card is his hand, flipping the bird. He scrolls through an impossible number of pictures until he finally stops on a picture of his bag, the Boeing 737-700/800 Saftey Card for Aerolineas Argentinas, and his middle finger. 

Now, this isn’t the friendliest way to do it. In fact, it is what they call a “dick move”. It wasn’t the best way to make a friend or to guarantee that he would get good service. He did however, get his bag to stay on the plane. 

“Trust me”, he says as puts his bag into the overhead, “It fits.” 

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